Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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