Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
