I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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