After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
