Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize