Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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