if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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