I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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