if you like me you must not know who I am
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How does it feel to date your dad?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize