I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
