IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
