Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
