he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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