Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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