Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A+ Viking dick
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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