Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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