You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
