if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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