The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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