You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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