Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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