Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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