u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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