and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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