Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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