I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
