Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You can't special order awesome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
