Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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