just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think your dad took our porno
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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