when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She's the barista slut.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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