Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
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What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Come on in and take your pants off
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