new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Couch. On fire.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
