best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
