I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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