it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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