I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
