so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
