i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
