She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
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YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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