nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
