they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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