Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
