p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
