dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
