if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
