remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
