So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
