based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
