Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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