they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
