I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize