please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
