there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize