beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
