It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
