I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
