The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
