I think my vagina is haunted
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
