Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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