one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
